Being, as I am, a narrow-minded insensitive ass, I thought that, if someone called everyone else a liar when he was actually doing the lying, well, that would be a bad thing. The person who did that would be a bad man. But there are no bad men. There are only sick men. And they need counseling.
While they are being counseled, it is their right and privilege to remain as a member of Congress, which, after all. has seen its fair share of sick men. And women. (What? Well, does the name “McKinley” strike a bell?) After all, this great nation can certainly find it in its heart to feel compassion for a young man, so very promising, who has done so much to promote the common good. And for those who find that he has actually only ever promoted himself, which a a great weight of evidence asserts, we understand your demur, but question your humanity.
That’s because I now wish to enroll myself in the ranks of those who are enlightened, and share with them the great satisfaction of forgiving sins. After all, who among us is without offense? And if someone has given their life to public service, should we not be even more willing to accept their frailties, and welcome the continuance of their efforts in our behalf?
Or should we be so mean spirited as to suggest that someone who has confessed their weakness — their “panic” — and has sought both forgiveness and counseling to remedy their error, should not in fact be even more favored in our sight?
After all, what are his sins compared to his legislative accomplishments? While none come immediately to mind, we are assured by his defenders that they are many. And even though Pelosi, Reid, and all the rest of the Democrat leadership have abandoned him, we recall his spirited…okay, I’m tired of this.